“Connection Questions” are the sneaky little system you’ll learn to use with your teens as they continue to build and expand their existing relationships with long-distance grandparents. Dive in and let your teen see their grandparent as a “teenager” too. I remember my grandmother holding up a little notebook once and telling some people in the room that it was her high school diary and she was going to burn it because she had been so silly in those days. As proof, she told the story of promising to kiss every boy on the football team if they won the game. And of course, she had to make good on her promise when they won!
I had never heard that story before, and I nearly tripped over a chair trying to get to her little notebook before she could do something drastic, like follow through with her threat to destroy it. I had never been able to picture my grandmother as a teenager before that day. This was the woman who wanted me to learn how to set a table properly, and organized fundraisers for the local art museum. Knowing she did crazy teenager-like things gave her personality a whole new dimension for me.
Making Connection Questions Part of Your FaceTime and Zoom Calls
Here’s a possible agenda for your next FaceTime call with your teenage grandkids: A book, an activity, and a question.
What Are Connection Questions?
Connection Questions are the ones that draw out stories. And the research tells us that knowing the family stories is critical to a teenager’s emotional growth. When they know that others in their family have had moments of greatness, have weathered difficult relationships, and have survived hard things, teens tend to develop a belief that they can manage life as well.
That’s heavy stuff, but Connection Questions don’t need to be heavy in order to be effective. That’s why the Popcorn Playdate for teens and older kids can be pretty simple. Start with a bag of popped microwave popcorn on both sides of your video call with the goal that the teens will stick around and talk to Grandma and Grandpa at least until the bag is empty.
A Children’s Book for Teenagers?
I’ve chosen a book that has nothing to do with popcorn for your family to share as part of this video call playdate. How Oma Says I Love You, by Shanie Cooper will help you catch the vision of connection questions because it illustrates the power of family stories so beautifully!
Oma is a survivor of World War 11, and this book is the account of her granddaughter’s memories of all of the different methods Oma created for passing on a piece of herself and her heritage to her grandchild. Beautifully written, it will almost certainly start you thinking about ways your own Grandparents show their love. And in turn, you’ll likely start thinking about your own favorite memories. Reading this book is going to open your heart to some of your own forgotten family traditions.
How Did Your Grandparents Say, “I Love You?”
Of course, you can make this call even more fun if the teen or Grandma and Grandpa use your Zoom call to demonstrate preparing a favorite family comfort food something like Oma’s Pflaumkuchen. (Shanie’s Grandmother’s recipe for this traditional German plum cake is included in the book). If you have no traditional family comfort food and want to create one, try making homemade caramel popcorn together. Start with one of the “connection questions” below to get the stories flowing. With a little bit of luck, your family will start a whole new “Popcorn and Stories tradition.” You could set up a monthly appointment!
In our family, grandmothers have always passed on a love of baking to the next generation. We have had many “online cooking school” classes with our grandma since Covid upended our weekly Sunday dinners. The grandkids learn cooking techniques first and then, while things are baking, the kids get to ask Grandma stories about her life. We host these classes on Zoom and record them so we have a record of Grandma’s stories and the sound of her voice.
Ask a Crazy Question, You Might Get a Crazy Answer
By now, you should have several fun ideas for things you can start talking about as you discuss family stories together. If not, here are some questions to get you started:
- What is your very favorite comfort food? Why?
- Do you have a favorite recipe passed down from your ancestors?
- What memories do you have associated with popcorn?
- What do you remember about popcorn and the movies when you were growing up? How were movies different when you were a teenager?
- Did you ever go to a Drive-In movie? Explain what that was like.
- What was the best or worst date you ever had at the movies?
- Did microwaves exist when you were young? If not, what was your favorite method of popping popcorn back in the “olden days?”
And What About That Snack?
If caramel popcorn isn’t your thing, this caramel recipe tastes great as a “fondue.” You can dunk everything from apple slices to pieces of brownie. Just keep in mind that this is a BIG batch of caramel and makes a BIG batch of caramel popcorn. If you are feeding a small crowd, consider cutting the recipe by half.
Caramel Popcorn Recipe For a Smaller Crowd
Here’s the 1/2 quantity version of the same recipe if you are making caramel popcorn for a smaller crowd. You can simply pop a bag of microwave popcorn and pour this caramel over until it looks like your popcorn is sufficiently gooey. Use the remaining caramel for a small caramel fondue and dip apples, brownie chunks, strawberries, magoes, or any other fruit or bite-sized dessert.
- 1/2 can Sweetened Condensed Milk (about 7 ounces)
- 1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons cups brown sugar
- 3/4 cups Corn Syrup
- 1/2 square butter (4 Tablespoons)
- 1 heavy pinch of salt
- 1/2 cup unpopped popcorn kernels
Pop about 5 quarts of popcorn and set aside in a large bowl. Alternately, you can eliminate the salt from the recipe and simply pop a bag or two of microwave popcorn to use in this recipe.
Stir together sweetened condensed milk (NOT evaporated milk), brown sugar, corn syrup, butter and a pinch of salt in a heavy pan. Stir until the butter is melted and the sugar is dissolved. Boil for about 3 minutes until the caramel thickens and looks creamy and milky.
Pour your caramel over your popped popcorn until it is covered to taste. Stir well. Cool and enjoy! Also great for dipping apples!
Kettle Corn Recipe
If you happen to have the right equipment on hand, this recipe for Kettle Corn is a family favorite. The secret ingredient is powdered vanilla, which is available online if you can’t find it in your local grocery store. We use a popcorn pan, which is designed to keep the sugar and popcorn kernels moving so they don’t scorch. If you don’t own a popcorn pan, I have tried this recipe using a large lidded pan and shaking it VERY vigorously as the popcorn pops. That method works but takes a lot more muscle. Empty your cooking pan into a bowl to cool just as soon as most of your kernels pop.
Set Up a Schedule and Think of New Questions For Next Month
Grandparents generally love telling grandchildren about their lives. It’s a compliment (for most of us) to have someone interested in our history. Most parents and grandparents are aching to have someone to share their stories with. You will be hooked once you try it. Set a schedule and look for some interesting questions to ask next month. You just might start a new family tradition.
Need more ideas for Popcorn Playdates for other age groups? We have you covered:
Popcorn Playdate for preschoolers ages 2-5
Popcorn Playdate for grandchildren ages 6-12