Grateful for Grandparents

Never in our lifetimes have we experienced something so isolating as the Covid-19 worldwide pandemic. But never in all of human history have we had access to resources to help us get through it in mentally healthy ways. 

Chances are that 9 months ago, you had never heard of Zoom, Microsoft Teams, or Google Meet. Today, if you are reading this article online, it’s likely that you use these technologies on a nearly daily basis. If you are not, then the fact that you are reading this article online is proof that you possess enough technological skill that you could be using them. The Internet library of fun activities we can participate in “remotely” grows every day, thanks to these new technologies. Our playdates this month focus on creative ways to stay fully connected with family, even though face-to-face contact is difficult, or even life-threatening.

Grandparents have gone through a lot. They have a unique store of wisdom based on the fact that they’ve survived things like pandemics (and worse) in the past. Research proves that when they share the stories of their challenges and their triumphs, their descendants become more resilient in tackling challenges of their own. 

So this month’s Playdateboxes are created in order to help you and your family tap into that critical legacy by looking for ways you can be Grateful for Grandparents. You’ll capture and treasure their stories, and in the process, you’ll make these challenging times a little easier for them. Nothing will help isolated grandparents more than some improved family connections. Help them reduce their sense of isolation, and fill up your own cup with some extra joy!

Everything in this month’s boxes is intended for use as a care package for a Grandparent you care about. The Storybook Boxes will help you help your Grandparents record their personal stories.

Grandma’s Storybook Box

Grandma’s Storybook: Wit, Wisdom, and Words of advice (a hardback journal with questions prompts so she can fill in the pages with stories from her life.

• Lavender-scented soap
• A lavender sachet
• Jordan almonds
• Vanilla Caramels
• A Quick-Start Guide to writing a personal history

Grandpa’s Storybook Box

• Grandpa’s Storybook: Wit, Wisdom, and Words of advice (an embossed leather journal with questions prompts about Grandpa’s life
• Chocolate bridge mix
• A wood photo stand
• Assorted chocolate candies

Note to the child or grandchild: If your grandparents do not live close by, the BEST holiday gift you can give them is finding a way to help them use technology to stay connected. That may mean installing a webcam, helping them set up a Zoom account, or helping them update their smartphone. Remember to be supremely PATIENT about teaching them how to use the new technology (and eliminating steps that may be frustrating for them).

Don’t make the assumption that your grandparents can’t handle the technology. Yes, they are sometimes uneasy or confused about using something new, but they aren’t stupid. They just need to try something out a few times until the muscle memory (or the process) has a chance to stick. They were patient with you once. That’s why you know how to ride a bicycle or play the piano, or drive the car. You can take your time and help them learn at a pace that is comfortable for them.

Grandparents who aren’t suffering from dementia or other memory-related problems can DO this. And if they can’t manage the technology alone, you can help bridge the gap. Once you open up the world of remote access to YOU, the walls of their isolation will begin to crumble, because they will then have access to an entire world of remote connections outside of the walls of their home.

We have a Grandma’s Storybook Box and a Grandpa’s Storybook Box available in our Etsy store that can be purchased as a Care Package for a grandparent you love. But you don’t need anything but your own time to make this activity work. Set an appointment with Grandma and Grandpa and prepare to ask them some questions about what like life was like “When you were a little girl/boy” 

Here are 5 questions to start with if you don’t know what questions to ask: 

1. Tell me about the first time you met Grandma/Grandpa. What was your first impression and what was your first date like? 
2. Who was your favorite teacher and what did that teacher do that made them stand out in your memory? 
3. Was there ever a time when you were in so much danger you didn’t think you were going to make it? 
4. What was your first job, and if you can recall, what is the first thing you bought with your first paycheck? 
5. What is one vivid memory of your own mother or father? Why do you think this memory stands out so much? 

If you want to go deeper on the Grandma or Grandpa Interview, we’ve put together a Quick Start Guide for helping you find, record, and transcribe these stories so they can be preserved for future generations. This guide includes links to simplified tools to help you whether your goal is to record a single story or whether you want to help Grandma or Grandpa publish a full-color book about their lives. 

For young children, it can be fun to assemble a “dress-up” or dramatic play box with tools they can use to mimic their grandparents or learn more about how grandparents’ occupations. For example, here’s a photo I took of my husband’s office desk:

And here’s a photo of a few things I assembled in a dramatic play box based on Grandpa’s work:

Now, when the grandchildren visit, they can play “office” just like Grandpa. I know this is fun because I remember being allowed to sit at my own grandfather’s desk as a child. He had a red telephone he would let us play with. There were two phone lines in the house—his office phone number and the home phone—and we have fond memories of using Grandpa’s office phone to call the house phone as we played “office” or “hotel.”

Your Dramatic Play Office Office Box Could Include:

• Telephone an old, non-working cell phone
• Old Computer keyboard, mouse
• Adding machine with tape
• Stapler, staples, staple remover
• Stamp
• Post-it notes
• Paper Clips
• Glasses
• Old checkbook or receipt pad
• Calculator
• Alligator clips
• Business Cards
• Phone Headset or old broken headphones

When Covid-19 interrupted our Sunday Family Dinners, we adjusted by setting up a weekly cooking class with Grandma. She sent us the recipe in advance so we could collect ingredients, and then on Sunday afternoon, she’d walk us through how to prepare her famous roast and gravy, or her coconut shrimp, or her vanilla custard. Here she is making caramel for her pecan rolls. 

Your Grandma or Grandpa is an expert at something and chances are no one has ever asked for a demonstration. 

What is there you could learn from Grandma and Grandpa via video? Can Grandpa teach you how to whistle? Can he help you assemble a container garden you can grow on the deck outside of your apartment? Remember that magic trick Grandma used to do with a deck of cards? Would she divulge her secrets? If you don’t know what you want to learn, ask them what they consider to be their expertise and then ask for a demo. 

Have a family magic show, learn sign language, or try your hand at French pastry. Airbnb has created an entirely new world of online experiences with hosts from every imaginable walk of life who will teach you everything from making pasta to going on a scavenger hunt and competing against teams from around the world. Since the hosts are remote, the guests can be as well. Gift a class to your Grandma or Grandpa, make sure they have a Zoom account and a webcam, and enjoy a class together.

If you are able to visit in person, help your teenage children or grandchildren go on a photo-taking expedition to document everything they love about the home where their grandparents live, collecting some stories and discovering a few heirlooms along the way.

Giving them “creative license” to choose what artifacts or what rooms in the home have meaning to them can be an interesting way to get your teen to connect with the past–and with Grandma and Grandpa. Ask them to take a photo of any room or item they are curious about. The result of this photographic treasure hunt will be several dozen photos of unique nooks and crannies in the home, and an opportunity for Grandma or Grandpa to talk with a teenager about what memorabilia is interesting and why. Here are a few examples I found in my own office in a matter of seconds:

Once you finish your photographic treasure hunt, ask Grandma and Grandpa each to show you their “most prized possession” or an item that represents their “humble brag.”  The stories behind these items will delight and amaze you. It was during a similar Zoom meeting recently that I learned that this hat, which my husband keeps stored on his dresser, belonged to his Grandfather. It was his “going to town” cowboy hat. I’ve dusted underneath it for years without knowing its story.

Don’t forget to tag us with any photos you take during your playdate. You could win a free Playdatebox!