Here are some favorite questions you can try asking as you are gathering stories for a personal history for yourself or for someone you love:
Tell me about the time…
- The most unexpected turn of events happened
- You told the truth when it was really hard
- You were so nervous that…
- You were so exhausted you fell asleep before falling into bed
- You wanted to quit but didn’t
- You were afraid you might die
- You experienced something miraculous
- You felt pure, unconditional love
- It was so crazy but you tried it anyway and it worked…
- You left home for the first time
- Someone or something you loved died
CHILDHOOD
- Who was your favorite relative when you were growing up? Why? Can you tell me about an experience you had with them that stands out in your memory?
- What is your favorite kind of music? How did you develop an interest in this genre of music?
- What is your favorite photograph of yourself? Why is it your favorite? Where do you keep this photograph? How old were you in the photograph?
- Tell me the story of your most memorable piece of clothing--an evening gown, a favorite pair of shoes, a scarf from a secret admirer, your wedding gown, or something you sewed or made yourself.
- What was your favorite subject in school? Why do you think you liked this subject so much? How has an understanding of this subject influenced your life?
- What was your least favorite subject in school? Why do you think you learned to dislike this subject?
- Describe your favorite toy
- What was your favorite Christmas/Hanukkah tradition? If you didn’t celebrate either of these, substitute another favorite holiday.
- What is your favorite piece of furniture? When and where did you purchase it?
- What is your favorite thing to do when you have a quiet day to yourself?
- Which season of the year (spring, summer, fall, winter) do you look forward to most? What is it about this time of year that makes it your favorite?
Activity: Ten Pivotal Portraits
Think of it as the Pulitzer Prize of Personal Photos. This is your chance to search your photographic archives and find ten photos of yourself that best represent you the way you want to be remembered. Will you choose your wedding day or the cake you baked for your 3-year-old’s birthday? The day of your birth or the day of a loved-one’s funeral? Are you going to give preference to the photos that present you at your finest, or the ones that show your braces and freckles?
Start by wandering through your house (or your hard drive) and gathering photos that are your favorites. Pay special attention to any framed photos around your home. They are likely to be the ones that have a particular meaning since they were important enough to print.
Once you have assembled at least 10 photos that are important to you, give a few details about them here:
- Description of what is in the photo
- The approximate or exact date the photo was taken
- The place the photo was taken
- What are the circumstances about the photo that tell the story of why it was made? What do you want your family to know about this particular event?
Before you return these ten photos to their hiding places, consider having digital copies made. Make a plan for how you will preserve them for future generations to enjoy.
Childhood Memories & Adventures
- What was your least favorite chore as a child? Describe what you had to do and why you detested this job so much. Do you still hate this chore now?
- Describe your typical breakfast when you were a child.
- Think of an adventure you had when you were a child that got you into big trouble with your parents. What or who inspired you to take this adventure?
- What is something your parents would say you did that was particularly frustrating to them in their efforts to parent you?
- What is the most amazing/disappointing/wonderful/interesting thing you ever received in the mail?
- Tell about an adventure you remember one time you rode a bus, the subway, a train, a boat, an airplane or any other form of transportation that was unusual to you.
- Do you have a memorable experience from going to the doctor or dentist that you could relate?
- What do you remember about the time you lost your first tooth?
- Did you wear braces growing up? What was that like?
- What was your favorite game to play as a child? Can you describe the rules?
- Did you have a favorite pair of shoes as a child or young adult? What made them special?
- Elementary School Stories:
- What is the name of the elementary school you attended?
- Who was your very favorite teacher? Why?
- Who was your least favorite teacher? Why?
- What did this school smell like?
- What was your favorite thing to do at recess?
- How did you get to and from school?
- Do you have a vivid memory about something that happened to you during your time at elementary school? Why do you think this memory is so vivid?
- What is something you remember doing with your siblings when you were out-of-doors?
- Where was your favorite place to play and what did you do when you were there?
- Describe your neighborhood growing up. What was it like to be a child in your neighborhood?
- Describe your bedroom in the house you grew up in.
- Did you have any neighborhood parties, games, or traditions?
- What was your greatest childhood fear?
- Tell me about the time you experienced snow or the ocean for the first time.
- Junior High and High School Stories:
- What is the name of the junior high or high school you attended?
- Who was your very favorite teacher? Why?
- Who was your least favorite teacher? Why?
- What did this school smell like?
- How did you typically spend your lunch hour?
- How did you get to and from school?
- What sports and extracurricular activities did you participate in?
- Who was your best friend in high school? Can you think of an adventure the two of you had together that still brings happy memories?
- Do you have a vivid memory about something that happened to you during your time in high school? Why do you think this memory so vivid?
- What was the happiest moment of your childhood?
Mom and Dad & How They Influenced Me
- What is one physical or personality trait you inherited from your father? Is there anything interesting that has happened to you during your life because of this trait?
Did he wear glasses?
What was his natural hair color?
Did he wear braces as a youth?
How tall was he?
Was he musical?
What was his strongest personality trait?
About what size were his feet?
What was his favorite hobby?
Did he have any unique physical characteristics that you inherited?
Describe the sound of his voice?
What do you remember about his hands?
What did you love most about him?
- What is one physical or personality trait you inherited from your mother? Is there anything interesting that has happened to you during your life because of this trait?
Did she wear glasses?
What was her natural hair color?
Did she wear braces a youth?
How tall was she?
Was she musical?
What was her strongest personality trait?
About what size were her feet?
What was her favorite hobby?
Did she have any unique physical characteristics that you inherited?
Describe the sound of her voice?
What do you remember about her hands?
What did you love most about her?
- What did your father do for a living?
- What did your mother do for a living?
- What is a gift you received from your mother that was especially meaningful or memorable?
- Did your father ever give you a gift that you particularly appreciated?
- How did you get along with your parents when you were a teenager?
- What is something you should have thanked your parents for, but never did?
- How happy were your parents in their relationship with each other? How has that relationship affected you?
- If your parents divorced, tell me what you can about what you recall about that experience and how it has changed your view of the world.
- If you were raised in an adoptive family, explain what you know about your adoption and your birth parents.
Where Did You Get Your Good Looks?
DNA research is a great way to access information about where you came from, but here’s a basic DNA activity you can create right in your own home, starting with YOU and some of your unique characteristics.
Using the chart below, make note of which dominant and recessive genes you exhibit. Download additional copies at www.lynnaeallred.com/inherited-traits and send your children on a journey to learn about some of the physical traits they have inherited from you, their father, or their grandparents.
After you complete the chart, you may recall other things you have inherited from your parents–things that might not be quite so obvious to the naked eye. Write down a story or two about what you inherited (your red hair, your brown eyes, your singing voice, your quick temper) and how this “inheritance” has blessed you, or made your life more interesting. If it’s made your life more difficult, it’s OK to talk about that too, but be sure to think of at least one trait you are grateful to have inherited.
| Earlobes attached or detached | Me | My Mother | My Father | My Children |
| Can you roll your tongue? | ||||
| Do you have any dimples? | ||||
| Right-handed or left-handed | ||||
| Do you have freckles? | ||||
| Do you have curly hair? | ||||
| When you clasp your hands, which hand is on top? | ||||
| Are you colorblind? | ||||
| What is the shape of your hairline? | ||||
| Second toe longer than big toe? | ||||
| Other inherited trait… |
Source: https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/basics/observable/
Sacrifices and Successes:
What Others Gave Up For You, What You Gave Up For Others
- Once you were a young adult, what kind of sacrifices did you have to make in an effort to gain an education or learn a trade?
- What have you accomplished that your parents might be most proud of?
- What is the most important family legacy passed on to you by your parents?
- Do you know the story of one of your ancestors who first emigrated to a new country? What hardships did they encounter as a new immigrant?
- Why and how did they emigrate?
- What is something you had to give up so you could raise a family?
- What is the toughest thing your family of origin ever went through together? How did this event impact you personally?
- What has been the best thing about getting older? What has been the worst thing?
- Did you ever enlist in any kind of service or volunteer opportunity (Military service, peace corps, a non-profit organization, civic group, missionary service, etc.) that had an impact on your life?
- How old were you when you began your service with this organization and why did you enlist?
- Describe the training period for this service. How did that change your habits or behaviors going forward?
- Would you recommend similar service to your children or grandchildren? Why or why not?
- What is the most important promise you have ever kept?
Food, Clothing and Shelter
[Add a photo here of you eating a favorite food, wearing something “amazing” or the home you grew up in]
- What’s the story behind one of your favorite family recipes?
- What is your favorite food?
- What is your favorite drink?
- Tell me the story of how your favorite comfort food became comfort food to you.
- Is there a recipe that has been handed down from generation to generation in your family that you still love to make or eat today? Can you tell me any stories associated with that food or meal?
- How has your clothing changed over the years? What is one thing you used to wear all the time that is now considered old-fashioned?
- What’s the most important technological improvement in apparel that has come about during your lifetime?
- What do you remember best about the home you lived in growing up?
- What was your favorite room in the home you created?
- If you could inherit one item or heirloom that your parents owned, what would it be?
- When you moved away from home for the first time, describe your living conditions. Was it an apartment, a college dorm, or your first home after getting married?
- Describe the home you live in now.
- Describe any unique circumstances that brought you to live in this place at this time.
- What is there about this place that makes it “home” to you?
Instagram Heirlooms
It’s likely that you have a few items in your home that have special anything you own that might be considered your “most prized possession.”
It’s time for you to go on a treasure hunt. Imagine for a moment that you are going to die next week and everything you own is going to be sent to goodwill so you only have the next 60 minutes to document the existence of things that are important to you. Using a camera or your smartphone, take a photograph of each item.
Could you increase the value of an item for your children and grandchildren simply by letting them know the story and why it is important to you? After considering, are there any items you would like to gift to specific people upon your death?
Don’t forget to think about things that may be hidden in drawers, tucked into shoeboxes at the back of the closet, or forgotten in bins in the attic or basement. The items you treasure may have little or no monetary value. They may not even be particularly display-worthy. Add your photo to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories (and don’t forget to tag your children).
The risk you run is that if something is valuable, and you neglect to let your heirs know, you run the risk of having someone simply dispose of it upon your death. Regardless of the “street value” of an item, all you need to turn an antique into an heirloom is a story.
Now that you’ve considered all of your heirlooms carefully, consider whether any of them should be added to your will, then choose five of them to write about here:
My heirloom is: ________
A description:
Currently it is stored here:__________
Why is this item valuable to you? Add a photo and a brief story to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories.
My heirloom is: ________
A description:
Currently it is stored here:__________
Why is this item valuable to you? Add a photo and a brief story to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories.
My heirloom is: ________
A description:
Currently it is stored here:__________
Why is this item valuable to you? Add a photo and a brief story to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories.
My heirloom is: ________
A description:
Currently it is stored here:__________
Why is this item valuable to you? Add a photo and a brief story to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories.
My heirloom is: ________
A description:
Currently it is stored here:__________
Why is this item valuable to you? Add a photo and a brief story to Instagram using the hashtag #HeirloomStories.
My Romance
[Photo of you on your wedding day]
- Who was your first “crush?” What kinds of things would you do to get this person’s attention?
- What is the most memorable date you ever went on?
- Tell me about the first time you remember seeing your future spouse. What did you notice first?
- What is one thing you and your spouse-to-be especially enjoyed doing together when it was just the two of you out on a date?
- Tell me the story of your marriage proposal.
- If you could change one thing about your marriage proposal, what would you do differently?
- What is the thing you feared most about getting married?
- When was a time that you felt great love and admiration for your spouse or someone else close to you?
- What was originally the most difficult part of being married? What advice would you give a child or grandchild about a relationship with a spouse or someone they are considering marrying?
- Describe your wedding dress or the clothing you were wearing the day you were married.
- Describe something unusual that happened on the day you were married. This could be a strange gift you received, someone interesting who attended your ceremony or reception, a humorous mishap, or anything else that stands out to you about that day.
- Can you recall a time when you were really angry with your spouse that you can laugh about now?
- What is something your spouse taught you that you probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise?
- Out of all the people you dated, why did you choose the spouse you did?
- What is the quality you love and appreciate the most about our spouse?
What Has Changed, What Has Remained the Same?
- Tell me a story about the first time you used a computer, a cell phone, email, an ATM, the Internet (some kind of technology that rocked your world) for the first time.
- What technology has been the hardest for you to adapt to?
- What were the circumstances the first time you flew in an airplane? What was your greatest fear?
- Which “old” technology that has ceased to exist is the one you miss the most?
- How and when did you learn to type? What kind of keyboard did you use and what has changed about typing since you learned?
- What were your parents rules (or society’s rules) with respect to dating or getting to know members of the opposite sex?
- How has technology changed your world for the better?
- How has technology made your life more difficult?
- Choose a technology you have heard is coming or is being developed. How do you think this technology will change the world?
- Do you remember your earliest experiences washing clothes or helping with the laundry? Are there any humorous or interesting stories you can tell about doing laundry?
- What was your first car like? What has been your favorite/least favorite car?
- What has changed the most about cars and driving during your lifetime?
- What national or international tragedy during your lifetime caused your life to change the most?
- What personal tragedy changed your life the most?
- What is one activity you participated in often as a youth or young adult that you don’t do any more? Why did you give it up?
- Was money tight when you were growing up? If so, what is the one thing you always wanted that your parents could never afford to give you?
- What is one belief that you were raised to live that is missing in the younger generation?
- How has the “age of information” changed your life?
- Do you remember the first time you used Google, Siri or voice activated technology?
- What do you wish could remain the same for your children and grandchildren?
It Seems Like Yesterday…
From the list below, put a checkmark next to any that have been invented during your lifetime, or were not commonly available when you were born.
Cassette Tape
Touch Tone Phone
TV Remote
VHS Tape and Player
Cordless Phone
Floppy disk
Color TV
Vaccines (polio, measles, mumps, chicken pox)
Post-it Notes
Contact Lenses
Washing Machine
Dishwasher
Microwave
Curling Iron or Blow Dryer
Fax Machine
Internet
Running Shoes
Cell Phone
Personal Computer
Compact Disk (CD)
Credit Card
Walkie Talkie
Solar Panels
Coronary Bypass Surgery
Handheld electronic calculator
ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)
Self-driving car
Birth Control Pill
GPS (Global Positioning System)
Lasik Surgery
Next, choose one technology that has had a significant impact in your life. Describe for your future great-grandchildren what it was like before this technology existed.
______________________________________________
Explain what it was like to experience this technology for the first time. ________________________________________
How old you were when you remember encountering it? ___________________________________________________________________
How has your life has changed as a consequence of this invention?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Best Friends and Siblings
- If you have siblings, list all of them here (including yourself, and any siblings no longer living)
- Tell me a little about where you fit in in the birth order in your family. How has your birth order impacted you over time?
- What sibling do you feel closest to? (if you have no siblings, substitute another person here). Why is your relationship so good?
- What have you admired the most about a sibling?
- What comparisons have been made between you and your siblings? Do you like the comparison?
- What family traditions do you and your siblings continue with your own families?
- Who has been your friend for the longest? How did you meet them and why did you become friends?
- What kinds of things did you do love to do together?
- What would you say is the one thing that has caused this friendship to be preserved for so long
- When you feel especially close to someone, you can usually identify a difficult time the two of you went through together. What would that event be for you? Can you give me some details about that time?
- Who has been your most memorable neighbor? Tell just a little about them and why they stand out to you?
Work and Play
- What is something you remember wanting to be when you grew up?
- Did you attend college or have any vocational training after high school? Where and what did you study?
- What was the first job you had? How much were you paid? Tell a little about your job responsibilities and what you learned from this job.
- List, as well as you can remember, all of the occupations (paid and unpaid) that you have had during your life:
- What has been the occupation you have valued the most?
- Which of these jobs helped you earn the most money?
- Did you ever second-guess your decision to pursue the career you chose? Why?
- What was the best day on the job ever?
- What was your worst day on the job ever?
- Write about a time when you wanted to quit something, but didn’t.
- What have been some of your favorite hobbies? How did you discover your favorite hobby?
- Were you ever a leader of an organization or activity you felt especially passionate about?
- Have you ever been unusually lucky?
- One time that you faked feeling confident, even though you were really anxious was when…
- What’s a fun experience you remember about the first time you learned to drive, ride a horse, fly an airplane, or sail a boat?
- What is one aspect of your life that turned out completely different than you imagined?
- What is something that didn’t work out for you that you still think about–how do you think your life would be different if that thing had worked out the way you dreamed it would.
- What is something you created with your own hands or your intellect that still brings you a feeling of accomplishment?
- If you had the opportunity to start all over again, would you choose a different career? What would it be and why?
- Have you ever belonged to any club or organization? Girl Scouts? 4-H? Lion’s Club, etc?
- What is a skill, hobby or talent that was passed on to you by one of your parents or grandparents? Do you still use this skill today?
- Do you know how to swim? When and how did you learn?
- What is one hobby you always wanted to try or develop yet have not?
- What was your favorite game to play with your children?
- What is a hobby you have passed on to your children?
- What is your family’s favorite group hobby? Did this change over time?
Your Favorite Recipe
Whether it’s the dish they always request when they come home or whether it’s your own favorite comfort food, one of the things your children will probably always associate with you is food in some form.
We’ve got you covered with 4 “recipe cards” where you can document some of the family favorites. Your famous chocolate chip cake, the French onion soup you always make on Christmas Eve, or your great-grandmother’s secret recipe for walnut bars can be recorded here for posterity, in your own handwriting. If cooking has never been your thing, you can be a little extra creative and share the “secret” of your favorite restaurant, deli, or drive-up fast food meal.
Principles I have Lived by
- Tell me about the time you did something that made your family proud
- What person has had the most influence on your life? Tell me about him or her.
- Do you have a mantra, proverb, scripture, or saying that you repeat over and over? Why is this phrase so important to you?
- List a few of the characteristics you believe you have stood for:
- Who is the kindest individual you know? Give an example of a time they were especially thoughtful or generous to you.
- If this was the very last time you would ever have to speak with your children, what would you especially want them to know?
- One time when you were exhausted/stressed out/worried, someone did something for you that really helped. Tell me about what happened.
- Can you share one value you have that is especially important to you? Describe a story about why this became so important.
- Who was the best example of honesty in your life?
- From your own experience, what are three characteristics that describe you best? Can you give me an example of each?
- Have you ever had a serious illness that changed your view of what is important in life? What did you learn?
- Is there a song whose lyrics have had special meaning in your life?
- What is the most difficult thing you have ever done?
- Tell me what you remember about your first experience with death? What do you believe will happen after death?
- Are you a religious person? Describe some of the most important things you believe?
- Do you believe in God? Why or why not?
- Was religion practiced in your home growing up?
- What is one good memory you have of a religious or spiritual experience you have had during your life?
What’s in a Name:
Sign your name here as you would sign it for an important document:
__________________________________
Write your first name in all capital letters about an inch high. Using colored pencils or markers, trace around the outside of your name with several different colors.
_____________________________________
As you are tracing around your name, think about how unique it is and how it has come to describe you. Think about how or why your name was given to you. If you were named after someone else, consider that person’s influence on your life.
Next, draw a straight line out from each letter of your name and think of a word that starts with the same letter that describes something about your personality. For example, if your name is DONNA, you might choose words like “domineering,” “observant,” “nonchalant,” “non-conformist,” and “articulate.”
In the space below, write anything at all that you want your children to know, or that you have observed about your name as you’ve participated in this activity.
_______
________
_________
Secrets and Skeletons
- How many scars do you have? Can you think of the story behind one or two of the most interesting ones?
- Can you think of a gift you were really excited to give to someone and why?
- What is a story you know you ought to tell me, but haven’t? Why have you postponed telling this story?
- Describe an instance of being bullied when you were growing up.
- Do you ever find yourself saying “if only?” What is one experience in your life you have some regrets about?
- Tell me the story about something you tried to repair and ended up making the problem worse.
- Tell the story about a time when you lost something–a game or a contest–that was especially devastating. What did you learn from that experience?
- What is the thing you worry about the very most?
- Has there ever been a time when you were afraid you might die?
- When were you the angriest with a teacher for misjudging your work or effort?
- Tell me about a time you met someone famous, or, tell about a famous person you would like to meet.
- What keeps you up at night?
- What did you hide from your parents while you were younger and shared with them when you were older?
- What did you not want your children to know that you had done when you were younger for fear they would do the same? Do they know now?
- Was there a time you were very proud of an accomplishment, but downplayed it to someone else?
Lessons Learned
- Who is a mentor that has significantly influenced your life? What did they teach you?
- Which teacher had the most impact for good in your life? What is the most important thing you learned from this teacher?
- Can you describe a teacher whose teaching style or policies were difficult for you?
- What gives you the greatest satisfaction in life now that you are older?
- Did you or anyone you love serve in the military? What was that experience like?
- Was anyone close to you ever killed in a war or by another accident or act of violence? How did this impact you?
- Which war during your lifetime seems to have had the most impact on you or your family?
- Have you ever gone on a road trip that was especially life-changing or interesting?
- Tell me the story about the greatest adventure of your whole life.
- How have your political views changed during your lifetime? What is the most important thing you have ever voted for? Did you ever regret voting for or against something or someone?
- What would you say is the greatest challenge you have ever overcome?
- Have you ever been seriously injured? What happened?
- Have you ever been really embarrassed in public?
- Was your life ever in danger?
- Tell me the story about the time when you were the sickest you have ever been. How did you recover?
- What has been the hardest lesson of your life?
- Who taught you to budget money?
- What was the worst financial decision you made?
- What financial advice can you share?
- Have you had a life-changing spiritual experience?
- What lesson do you wish you would have learned earlier? What impact would this have had?
The Blessing of Children
- What do you remember about the day you found out you were expecting your first child? How did you feel about becoming a new parent?
- What do you remember best about the day your first child was born? How about any other children? What was unique about their births?
- As you consider each of your children, what personality trait do you most admire in them?
- What was one thing you sacrificed for any of your children they probably didn’t appreciate enough?
- What is the most important thing you taught your children?
- What do you think was the most important thing you did as a parent to help your child/children become successful or make a positive impact in the world?
- What do you think was the most important thing you did as a parent to help your child/children understand how to be a kind and thoughtful member of society?
- What was the most successful form of discipline you used with your children?
- How would you want your children to describe you?
- How many children did you imagine you would have when you were younger? What impacted that as you started your family?
- What is the best thing about being a mother/father?
My Memories of You – From your Children or Grandchildren
Ask several of your children (or grandchildren) to contribute to your “story” by adding their own memories of what makes you special to them.
- My earliest memory of you is…
- The thing I admire most about you is…
- The time I remember seeing you the most upset was the time…
- Something you taught me to do that I have great memories of is…
- One talent or ability I have inherited from you is…
- Something difficult that you helped me get through was…
- A flavor or smell that reminds me of you is…
A Portrait of Mom/Dad: Invite any of your children to draw a portrait of you, with emphasis on drawing their memory of their happiest day with you. If they aren’t artistic have them share a picture of the happiest day.
How I want to be remembered
What is the most important thing you want your children and grandchildren to know about you?
What is something you have always wanted to say to your children or grandchildren, but have never found the appropriate moment?
What is the most important advice you can give to future generations of your family?